On the 19th February I sat in the car while the bubba grizzled in the back because she had been woken up early from her nap and the rain pounded on the windscreen. I stared at the small print in that burgundy book and my brain refused to comprehend. It's not 2011, I said to myself, no it's not, no it's...oh, yes, oh fuck yes it is! And there I had to accept that I was sitting in a car in traffic with a packed suitcase, two Eurostar tickets, a birth certificate, a letter of permission to leave the country with my own daughter, her passport and a pissed off child and a soon to be pissed off frog.
"My passport's expired!"
And there, in that moment, as I realised I wasn't going to London, I could also see into the future, through the rain that my trip to Berlin ON MY OWN, no Bubba, no frog, just me (and hundreds of other PYP school teachers) was circling the drain.
Since then it's as if the everything going smoothly god has got it in for me and my kind BIG TIME.
You see the passport was one thing. OK I thought, if I have to, I'll get emergency travel papers, but now that god is just toying with me.
On Friday as I was leaving work with the deadline for reports looming large over my head, I did a million and one calculations in my head and decided not to take home my planner and half the assessment documents I would need to write reports. I had it all timed down to the last minute. I would meet the deadline and IN TIME.
Then on Saturday I woke up and couldn't walk. Like SERIOUSLY!
So, then I thought I would print out my hotel reservation and plane ticket. Plane ticket? Oh plane ticket, wherefore art thou plane ticket?
That's a hint, right. I shouldn't go, right? I have a limp, I have no passport and I have no plane ticket.
I WANT TO GO TO BERLIN.
On the good news front though my copy of The Demon Collector by Jon Mayhew arrived, so if I ever get a passport, plane ticket and a taxi I'll have plane reading.
*This is not a short story by the way. THIS IS MY LIFE.