A Day Off

Today was supposed to be my day off from flat hunting, except that I had one flat to visit. Yesterday was a bit of a scorcher so I spent my time hiding in the shadows waiting for agents to turn up. As I ambled up to one building I spotted another prospective renter waiting outside. You can spot us a mile off; we’re the ones juggling at least five business cards, a diary and a pen. I had got the appointment for this flat on Monday and I was buggered if I could remember a damn thing about it, so I got chatting to my competition. Neither of us knew what floor the flat was on, how big it was or how much the rent was. We started joking about how we now had the ability to spot agents a mile off. Yep it’s the A4 diary that gives them away, except we were so busy comparing our ability to do this that neither of us saw Olivier coming: a young thing, in a blue shirt, jeans and trainers. Overdressed but too casual, I thought to myself as he led us up the stairs.

As Olivier led us up the stairs he admitted that he hadn’t visited the flat before so he couldn’t tell us too much about it. He pulled the huge wad of keys out and began unlocking Fort Knox. After a minute or two it became apparent that he was struggling. The back of his light blue shirt was turning dark blue and his hairstyle was adopting a wet look. After a few minutes his composure was completely gone, he was swearing at the door like a good ‘un.

Competition decided to have a go at the door while I had the extremely important job of flicking the light switch every time the timer reached the end of its limit. Finally both Competition and Olivier gave up. “Well you have a go, you haven’t tried yet.” Competition said to me and for the second time in two days I found myself struggling with a set of locks that agents couldn’t manage to open. I knew the other three locks were open and the one that was flummoxing us all was definitely turning, but I couldn’t manage it either.

Suddenly the neighbour’s door opened. “What’s going on?” She took us in and sighed with relief. “Well, it’s not a burglary.”

“No, this flat is safe, we can’t get in and we’ve got the keys.” Olivier explained.

Neighbour had a go but she couldn’t manage it either, but she told us as we trooped off down the stairs that the current renter also had problems with the locks occasionally. So I ended up coming back this morning. It was a quick tour because behind that elusive door was a very little space. So I traipsed back down Joseph de Maistre for the millionth time this week, back past the cemetery, remembered to stop off for some fags and then got home and packed away the laptop to take it off for a much needed check up. It’s been getting all hot and bothered and switching itself off in a huff.

While I left in the capable hands of The Server Man, I went off to get my jabs for Bali, yay. The woman at the reception told me that the jabs were recommended but that I didn’t really need them. There was a moment of temptation there, but then I thought Kimberley and Estrella are already jabbed and then knowing my luck I’ll get sick. I’d timed it, so that during my two hours wait I would get some lunch, sit around and read some and then go back get jabbed and go pick up the laptop. Well, I sat on the Esplanade des Invalides and got my book out, got my journal out, got the musak out and then didn’t know what to do. I’ve been running around like such a blue arsed fly all week that I wasn’t really mentally ready for this two hour break.

Anyway, the laptop seems to be better now; trojans and all sorts of other crap apparently. It’s been on all evening. I’ve listened to Ben Harper (over and over again, it just suits the climate), did my hours sacred writing time. I’m glad it’s only an hour, because what I’m writing is a bundle of laughs. I’m enjoying it, but it’s draining. Farted around some and then decided to see if Orange New Voices liked my mine. I had a feeling that they had announced their short list. They didn’t like me (sad face) except really deep down I knew that I just couldn’t get the ending right, so I got fed up with it and just sent it off. I kind of know what it should be, but it ain’t there right now. Another one to work on I guess.