Monday, January 22, 2007

The image in her head...

I was inspired by a comment I read on Debi Alper’s site. Cheers!

Her eyes were closed and she was rhythmically stroking the spine of her book; up and down. He found this arousing, which was a shame: his words were the reason she had closed in on herself.

“I just don’t seem to be getting through to you anymore. You seem to get more pleasure out of eating a cheese sandwich in the bath than from me. I just don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

Copyright, 2007, Verilion

14 comments:

-- mayari -- said...

nice.

subtle but striking. :)

Shameless said...

Wonderful, verilion! This made me smile.

Verilion said...

Hi Mayari, thanks for the visit and comment. I'll pop by and visit you too.
And Shameless I read Debi's comment and could just feel something brewing. It was so cold I got into my sleeping bag and the second I pulled it over my head the idea formed. Funny where inspiration can come from hey! Oh by the way you know you were saying about word verification... have you swapped to Beta? you don't need to do it on your own site.

The Moon Topples said...

Verillon: Thanks so much for mentioning the upcoming contest in your sidebar there. As I wasn't aware of some of the other contests there, I'm awfully glad I stopped by for that as well. The crappy thing about hosting one of these things is that you do not get to enter.

I liked your short piece. You got an awful lot of detail into such a short passage.

Anyway, I've linked you, and I suspect I'll be back soon to read some more.

Marie said...

'Rhythmically stroking the spine of her book' - that's really good!

Atyllah said...

Very evocative imagery.

Besides, who can argue with the appeal of a cheese sandwich in the bath - provided it doesn't get soggy.

Caroline said...

Loved it.
Made me smile.

Minx said...

Wicked piece! Funny the places you get your inspiration from, isn't it?

Verilion said...

Hi everyone. Firstly Moon Topples, I'm looking forward to February 1st, I'm really enjoying short fiction at the moment. It's really making me concentrate on what the sentence is saying and what I actually want to say, and competitions are always a good incentive to get your pen out!

Thanks the rest of you, glad you liked it. So Atyllah cheese would be your sandwich of choice too?

Debi said...

V strange that a weird random image pops into your head, you share it with others and next thing you know it's zapping round the globe being added to and spiced up.

It'll be a hit single soon. And don't forget the movie rights ...

Not sure if you can really claim copyright though ... the cheese sarnie is an organic beast, nurtured by us all.

Verilion said...

An organic beast hey Debi? Gosh. Now how can I write a second part that includes an organic beast and juggling?

Debi said...

You can do it, V!

Go on - shoot up the ranks from 4th to 1st and we can all share in the glory.

Atyllah said...

A hunk of baguette with a thick slathering of Boursin would do this chicken very nicely indeed. Failing that cheddar cheese, tomato and lettuce would do very nicely too.

jason evans said...

Great moment! I love seeing the unexpected in scenes. The sandwich angle was great.

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