Thursday, May 10, 2007


After the discussions of whether Haiku's should have titles or not, or whether they should even be written I decided to NOT write another one. I also overcame my fear of Poetry Thursday and tootled over. They have something called a randomizer. So this was my word...


By the time the first frayed thread
snagged on your nail,
that sweater fell over your angles like
a reassuring comfort moulded to your form.

There it lay,
twisted at the back of your drawer,
ready to cosset you,
do your will.

But forced to see
by the pinch of the thread;
to become aware;
the holes materialised,
here and there.

You could have mended
those unraveling gashes.
But were you tired, unhappy,
with its uncompromising yarn;
its unwillingness to fit your changing self?

And as the fibre sliced into flesh,
numbing feeling,
you pulled and pulled,
until the fabric of your life,
slowly became unwoven.

copyright, 2007.Verilion


Rob Kistner said...

a reassuring comfort moulded to your form.

Very crisp line -- I like it.

Clockworkchris said...

Very nice poem. I had that word too. I loved the last stanza, but in gerenal just how different we went with the idea. I loved reading about your haiku trouble with title or no title. I have a real problem with people calling a poem anything but a poem unless they follow the rules strictly. I see so many that are not 5-7-5 and it irritates me. Poetry Thursday is always so much fun.

Crafty Green Poet said...

haiku shouldn't have titles and I'm going to disagree with Chris. The syllable count isn't the most important thing. I won't go into that here though. I enjoyed your poem.

Sam said...

Lovely poem!!
I love it!

And I loved that article in the Guardian - very funny, and so true!

Gino said...

The first 2 lines are fantastic! Great poem!

gautami tripathy said...

"its unwillingness to fit your changing self?" is just one the lines I love here.

Nowhere Land

paris parfait said...

I don't think rules governing haiku are so rigid anymore, although I admit the 5-7-5 is ingrained in me and I sometimes see poems meant as haiku that I don't think are really haiku. But poetry is meant to bend the rules and I think "its unwillingness to fit your changing self" is a great line in a fine poem; nice work.

Minx said...

Oh V, I really like that, there are some lovely touches in there. Most definitely Poetry Thursday - me too btw.....

Shameless said...

Oh, what a treat, V. This was fun and there was depth in the concept.

Jessica said...

This is a very detailed, well laid out image. You really committed to your word, which makes this poem more interesting.

Anonymous said...

This has been worth several reads, and I'm not sure I'm done yet. And, I enjoy discussions of haiku. With over 20 rules, some only make sense in Japanese, they are bound to go nowhere, but they are entertaining.

Canterbury Soul said...

careful choice of words that speak volumes. very, very well-written. nice one, Miss V!

Roberta said...

This is beautiful!

I believe I have that sweater, tucked in the back of a drawer somewhere...perhaps I should get it out and do some mending?

Verilion said...

Wow what a response! Thanks to Poetry Thursday for bringing you all here. I didn't want to respond until I'd had a chance to check you all out. I'm glad you guys liked the poem. In terms of following rules strictly at present I only follow my own, but I'm getting into the idea of having a go at following some.
That idea of a random word was funny, unwoven was the first one, I did keep having a look, but that word just instantly conjured up an image, an experience.
And Roberta I've still got that old sweater too. I thought I had chucked it out in the big throw out, but it survived. I never thought to mend it!

Minx said...

I have been following Poetry Thursday for months and this time I took the plunge. What a wonderful community of poet people!

Verilion said...

Yep, they are Minx. I was scared at first, but this is great and there is so much stuff out there. Wow. I'm sort of lost for words, but somehow don't seem to be able to stop typing...

Marie said...

Great poem, V. I especially like the last verse.


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